She's coming home!!!!

Debbie has been gone since last Saturday. She went on a cruise with a bunch of loose, wild women and left me home to fend for myself. She woke me up with a phone call from the port of Galveston this morning. The ship was pulling into port and she expects to be here around four this afternoon. It was the best news I've had since Nancy Pilosi lost her gig in the House. I was also glad to get the call from Deb because this will give me about four hours to clean house before she gets home. If I didn't have to teach a class at church this morning I would be tempted to miss and give myself an extra three hours. I need every minute of it. Of course that's the devil tempting me and if he doesn't stop it I'm going to make him clean the bathrooms. We are out of food. I'm out of clothes. I have no idea if I've paid the utility bills or not because Debbie is our bookkeeper and she has everything set up in mysterious electronic ways I don't understand. I've spent way too much money on emergencies like Halloween candy, eating out, and buying a really cool watch I didn't need but felt I should buy because I was left home by myself. I had no idea how much Deb does around here. This is the first time in nearly 40 years of marriage we've been apart for so long. If you haven't already figured this out, I really, really love my beautiful wife....and I sure hope she has a chance to read this before she sees the house...especially the kitchen. I can't figure out how the kitchen got this way since I don't know how to cook.