Double dates....

Well, I apolgize for last week's depressing outburst. It must have had something to do with that five dollar pizza I ate for a snack that night. Anyway, Debbie told me if I couldn't play nice I couldn't play. She grounded me from the computer for a week. I feel much better now and will get back to remembering the good stuff. My cousin Mike and I helped each other out through our formative years. The following story is true. I didn't have to color it up at all...

     I like to sit. I know it’s not a great hobby but I can’t help myself. I found something I’m good at so I work at it every chance I get. Used to be I couldn’t stand sitting. I had to be busy doing something but now I find sitting to be very satisfying.

     When I was a teenager with no place to go on a Friday or Saturday night I was miserable. The thought of sitting home with the family and watching television was as bad as the thought of getting drafted. I generally had my plans for the weekend made by Monday night at the latest.
     I have to admit I never had trouble finding a date. I learned early in life that Karen M. was never going to acknowledge my existence so I moved on. It seems a good portion of the female population at Bell High School found me to be acceptable, or maybe they were all half blind. I don’t know and I don’t care. If they said they were willing to go out with me that was okay. I did worry though if they actually said yes that there must be some type of problem with them. I generally went out with girls who would go out with me only one time. I figured they must be losers to date me….until I met Debbie anyway. I figured she was just too young to know better.
     I had a date with Susan S. one Friday night…planned a week in advance of course. This girl called me around Thursday to see if I could find a date for her dearest friend, Attila the Hun. I didn’t want to not go out because of this. After all, Susan was pretty darn good looking. Because of this I decided to ask my cousin Mike if he would go with Susan, me, and Fido to the bowling alley the next night. He agreed because he didn’t have anything going on that particular night.
     Mike arrived early on Friday afternoon and we changed into our killer date clothes, blue jeans, plaid shirts, and brown loafers. We hopped into my 1959 Chevy Impala and drove to Susan’s house. When Mike saw Susan he got pretty excited. Did I mention she was darn good looking? We walked part ways through the front door when Lassie came into the room. Mike actually tried to run. I had to grab him by the arm to keep him from running all the way back to River Oaks. We made our introductions and wiped the slobber off Rover’s chin then headed out to the car. I whispered to Susan that her friend kind of scared me. I wanted to make sure she had gotten all her shots at the vet before wandering around without a leash. That particular comment did nothing to improve the situation. By the time we got to the bowling alley Mike was staring at me with thoughts of revenge. He said staring at me was easier than looking at Rin Tin Tin but I knew he was planning on a serious reprisal. After we got our rented bowling shoes on Mike managed to throw up all over the place. I don’t know how he worked up such a good barf but he did a marvelous job. The evening was officially over. We loaded Mike up in the back seat while Susan and Elsie the cow rode in front with me. I walked them to the door apologizing as hard as I could. Then I went back to the car and headed for my house. A few seconds into the drive I looked in my rearview mirror to see Mike sitting up and smiling. He said, “Hey, you wanna go see Rosanna?”*.
    
*One of my former dates, which Mike had highly approved of.