The reel deal...

I've been thinking about buying an old-fashioned reel mower to use in my front yard...thinking and thinking, studying and shopping, and thinking some more. I finally broke down and ordered one off the internet last week. It came in a couple of days ago. It stayed in the box on my workbench until this afternoon. The reason I bought it was so I could mow my front yard early in the mornings without bothering my neighbors. I probably wouldn't have bought for that reason alone but during my research I ran across an article written by one of those all natural, environmentally friendly nuts about the peace found in using a reel mower. I thought that sounded nice. My gas mower blows dirt, clippings, and exhaust in my face the whole time I'm using it and the noise is beginning to bother me. I couldn't use the new mower this morning because it had been three weeks since I last mowed. I know, that doesn't sound like me but I've been sick. Anyway, I put the completely US MADE mower together an hour ago and used good old American tools instead of those cotton-picking foreign metric things which have been forced on us. The mower is bright red with gray handles. It just looks like something my dad and uncles would have used back when men were men....REEL men...I set the height 3/4 inch lower than I had mowed earlier in the day and mowed my entire front and side yards in about 20 minutes. Totally quiet, totally refreshing to walk around my yard in the shade listening to the sound of 5 really sharp blades cut the grass rather than tearing it off. When I finished I knew I had made the right decision. I wore my sandals and took it easy. I probably could have sipped on a mint julep if I had any idea what a mint julep is. I walked into the house totally at peace with the world...and that's when the fight started. I did not think of this, and it's possible you didn't either, that when using a reel mower the grass clippings flow out the back of the mower rather than to the side. It's also now a proven fact that bare feet on sandals collect grass clippings very efficiently. I walked blissfully from the garage to the shower, removing sandals and other outdoor wear as I went. When I came out of the shower I met Satan, dressed up to look like my dear wife Debbie. Satan had spent the day cleaning house. He had done a darn good job too. He was not at all happy about my little green path from garage to shower...no sir, he was not happy at all. I sure hope he leaves and Debbie gets back soon from wherever she went.