The family I come from is large and interesting. You already know about my uncle Frog and aunt Crickett. You probably think I'm exaggerating when I tell about them...and I am, but all the stories are based on my memory of things that really happened. Here's a chance for you to read about the past from the eyes of another family member. Mike is my cousin. His memory is better than mine and he is constantly pointing out errors in my stories to which I am not the least bit interested. He's a great storyteller. Here's one of his memories he sent to me yesterday.
I am cleaning files off my work computer because they say I am going to get a new one and I guess they have a narrow minded view of personal files. I found this childhood story I wrote for someone, I can't remember who. It is true:
We were visiting our Uncle Bill and Aunt Adelaide once. Uncle Bill had made some Souse, which I believe is hog's head lunch meat. At my mother's urging, I atypically ate some.
That evening I went to the movies with my cousin, Roy Lynn. He was a few years older than I and had a car. He took me to the Lantex Theater on the town square of Llano in his 1960 Ford Falcon.
I had traveled with Roy and his sister Lynda Ray (Sissy) before in this car. He would drive it as fast as he could down hill so it would have enough momentum to crest the next hill.
The feature at the Lantex Theater was a Hammer Production zombie movie. Remember Hammer Productions? They were British horror movies of the late fifties through the early seventies designed to scare the bejeebers out of you. They typically starred Peter Cushing and/or Christopher Lee.
We settle down in the theater and some girls come by and Roy leaves me to sit with them. He was cursed with teenaged hormones, while I wasn't. So I was watching the movie alone.
The opening scene was a 19th century English village evening foggy funeral. A bunch of men were carrying a coffin from the church to the cemetery and they managed to drop it. The coffin broke open and there was this terrible looking green tinted guy in it. The gathered him all up and closed him back into the coffin and continued the procession and burial.
Later in the movie, there was a scene where a beautiful peasant girl was walking home and decided to take a short cut through the cemetery because it was getting late. She became terrified because she felt someone was following her. She is running faster and faster through the cemetery until suddenly the same dead green guy jumps out from behind a tombstone.
I feel my hair go straight up in the air and then I start feeling hot and sick. I wander out into the lobby and start drinking from the water fountain. The next thing I know I'm passed out on the floor and Roy is trying to wake me so he can take me back to his house. We make it out to his Falcon and he drives me back to his house, but during the trip I throw up all over the inside of his car.
This was the last time Roy and I went to the movies.
And.........I never ate Souse again.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
I've gotta lose weight...
I am getting so fat I feel disgusted with myself. I can't get out of a chair or bend over to pick something up off the floor without grunting like a well fed porker about to leave for market. My little granddaughter Gracie told me one time my tummy looked just like her mommy. That would have been fine if Jennifer hadn't been nine months pregnant. Sometimes Gracie's little brother, Sam, will climb up in my lap and slowly rub my belly. His commentary is always the same: "O-o-o-o-o, dat big tummy Papa!". Cayce's prayer life has definitely improved since marrying Cody. Everytime she sees me she prays, "Oh Lord, please don't let Cody turn out like that". Debbie is more direct with her assessment. She calls me Fatboy.....she used to call me "Honey"...but that would make me hungry and I would head for the kitchen. I've just got to lose some weight.
Monday, May 24, 2010
A Thoughtful Frog...
Have you ever wondered how boring life would be if it weren’t for all the weird relatives? For example, I have an Uncle Frog. Frog is one of my favorite people in the world. He is very educated. In fact, Frog is so smart he felt it more prudent to drop out of school after attending the fourth grade three times. He figured by that point he knew more than the teacher so any further attempts at education would be a waste of everyone’s time.
After excusing himself from the fourth grade Uncle Frog pursued a career in the exciting world of concrete form building. His talents took him to jobsites all over the North Texas area. There were many more professionals in this particular trade that took an instant liking to my Uncle Frog. On one occasion Frog invited some of his co-workers over for the night. It having been a long day at work and an even longer stay at a Jacksboro Highway bar, Frog thought it best to invite his guests to stay the night. Upon waking that bright summer morning I wandered in to Frog’s room to visit with him. I noticed immediately four sets of feet sticking out of the covers of his bed. Frog was a generous sort and wouldn’t allow any of his friends to sleep on the floor. Even though it was crowded Frog and his three friends found a way to fit into the bed that night. Snoring was quite pronounced so I wandered on down the hall into the kitchen and mentioned to my mother, Frog’s older sister, that I had counted 8 feet sticking out of Frog’s bed. I don’t know why she was so quick to get down the hall but I do know she pulled Frog out by the ear and had a long conversation with him in the kitchen with the door closed. Moments later Frog went back to his room and announced, “Boys, I’d forget about breakfast if I were you.”
After excusing himself from the fourth grade Uncle Frog pursued a career in the exciting world of concrete form building. His talents took him to jobsites all over the North Texas area. There were many more professionals in this particular trade that took an instant liking to my Uncle Frog. On one occasion Frog invited some of his co-workers over for the night. It having been a long day at work and an even longer stay at a Jacksboro Highway bar, Frog thought it best to invite his guests to stay the night. Upon waking that bright summer morning I wandered in to Frog’s room to visit with him. I noticed immediately four sets of feet sticking out of the covers of his bed. Frog was a generous sort and wouldn’t allow any of his friends to sleep on the floor. Even though it was crowded Frog and his three friends found a way to fit into the bed that night. Snoring was quite pronounced so I wandered on down the hall into the kitchen and mentioned to my mother, Frog’s older sister, that I had counted 8 feet sticking out of Frog’s bed. I don’t know why she was so quick to get down the hall but I do know she pulled Frog out by the ear and had a long conversation with him in the kitchen with the door closed. Moments later Frog went back to his room and announced, “Boys, I’d forget about breakfast if I were you.”
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Quick Memory Quiz...
Does anyone (excluding my cousin Mike who remembers everything in vivid detail and also still has the first dollar he ever made in his life) remember the year and model of the CHASE car in "Bullit"? Did I spell Bullit right Mike? If you have to rent the movie, or pull it from the dusty archives of your old VHS collection, to get the answer it doesn't count. The winner will receive.....hmm....absolutely nothing...other than bragging rights...if you can find anyone who cares...
I have no idea why this is bothering me. I should worry about the economy, the war, the degradation of our government and country as a whole. I can't do a thing in the world about these problems so I choose not to worry...just pray A LOT....and that is the last political, spiritual, or serious writing you will ever see on this blog.
Have a good day!!
I have no idea why this is bothering me. I should worry about the economy, the war, the degradation of our government and country as a whole. I can't do a thing in the world about these problems so I choose not to worry...just pray A LOT....and that is the last political, spiritual, or serious writing you will ever see on this blog.
Have a good day!!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
The Dollar Store...
I love to go to the dollar store. Debbie will need to pick up some greeting cards or something and I'm always ready to go with her. I can walk the aisles and find things I didn't know I needed. I need lots of things when they only cost a buck.
I enjoy taking the grandkids to the dollar store. For just a little money I can walk out of there looking like Daddy Warbucks (if you don't know who that is ask your momma).
Debbie and I were walking through the store one evening and I found something I really, really needed. It was a six-pack of .5mm lead for my mechanical pencil. Now, my employer is more than happy to supply my lead since the only time I use this pencil is at work. But for one lousy dollar I could buy SIX individual packages of lead which typically costs $3 each from the office supply. For those who are math challenged that is a $17 savings on lead!!! Since I am a company man I spent my own dollar for this lead. I know, it is commendable but I hate to take too much credit.
I took the lead home and promptly forgot all about it. A couple of days ago I ran across it lying in a desk drawer. I took one of the six packets to work with me and loaded up my pencil. You cannot imagine how proud of myself I am because of my cost cutting techniques. Oh sure, the cost of safety goggles for me and anyone sitting within 15' of my desk was a bit much and the emergency trip to the hospital for Scott, who failed to get his goggles on in time, was more than expected, but doggone it, that lead was CHEAP!!!
Oh, I forgot to mention the cost of a new mechanical pencil. I had to replace it for some reason. Every time I tried to use it after loading it with my great find the lead would break off and sail off through the air. Eventually the pencil got to where it wouldn't turn as I tried to advance more lead. There was a weird grinding noise coming out of it. Finally a powder similar to graphite got all over my hands and shirt (did I mention the cost of a new shirt?) and I decided my mechanical pencil was defective. I had to throw it away and get a new one. It came with two pieces of lead so I better remember to bring another pack from home.
So, in summary:
Safety goggles... 4 pair $20.00
Trip to hospital... $570.00
New Shirt... $34.00
New mechanical pencil... $20.00
Finding a deal at the dollar store that saved $17.00 on the cost of lead... PRICELESS
I enjoy taking the grandkids to the dollar store. For just a little money I can walk out of there looking like Daddy Warbucks (if you don't know who that is ask your momma).
Debbie and I were walking through the store one evening and I found something I really, really needed. It was a six-pack of .5mm lead for my mechanical pencil. Now, my employer is more than happy to supply my lead since the only time I use this pencil is at work. But for one lousy dollar I could buy SIX individual packages of lead which typically costs $3 each from the office supply. For those who are math challenged that is a $17 savings on lead!!! Since I am a company man I spent my own dollar for this lead. I know, it is commendable but I hate to take too much credit.
I took the lead home and promptly forgot all about it. A couple of days ago I ran across it lying in a desk drawer. I took one of the six packets to work with me and loaded up my pencil. You cannot imagine how proud of myself I am because of my cost cutting techniques. Oh sure, the cost of safety goggles for me and anyone sitting within 15' of my desk was a bit much and the emergency trip to the hospital for Scott, who failed to get his goggles on in time, was more than expected, but doggone it, that lead was CHEAP!!!
Oh, I forgot to mention the cost of a new mechanical pencil. I had to replace it for some reason. Every time I tried to use it after loading it with my great find the lead would break off and sail off through the air. Eventually the pencil got to where it wouldn't turn as I tried to advance more lead. There was a weird grinding noise coming out of it. Finally a powder similar to graphite got all over my hands and shirt (did I mention the cost of a new shirt?) and I decided my mechanical pencil was defective. I had to throw it away and get a new one. It came with two pieces of lead so I better remember to bring another pack from home.
So, in summary:
Safety goggles... 4 pair $20.00
Trip to hospital... $570.00
New Shirt... $34.00
New mechanical pencil... $20.00
Finding a deal at the dollar store that saved $17.00 on the cost of lead... PRICELESS
Friday, May 14, 2010
The Bird Sanctuary...
Debbie has done a wonderful job transforming a once barren and boring backyard into a beautiful, peaceful garden. It would be a joy to sit out in the mornings, sipping coffee and watching the sun rise. I say "would be" because we can't do that in the mornings. I tried once again last Tuesday morning. After five minutes I had to come back inside so those stinking mother birds could feed their stinking, selfish, self-centered, spoiled babies. Springtime is the perfect time of year for sitting out in the mornings but we have to stay inside so the birds (who pay absolutely NO rent) will have free reign of the backyard to...sanctuate.
Yesterday morning I was sitting inside reading and enjoying my morning coffee when I was disrupted by a couple of crows. You know crows, black motorcycle jackets, slicked-back hair, attitude. They wander through occasionally to scare the birds for laughs but yesterday they stayed and made so much noise I decided to walk out and show them who's really boss around here. They flew to a low hanging limb and stared at me staring at them. In my mind I looked a lot like John Wayne standing there but in their minds I was just a fat guy in baggy jammies standing on the patio. I stared at them until I got bored and as I started to go back inside I saw what they were after. A tiny gray cat was hiding under one of the Texas Lilacs. He (or she) was trying to get away from those crows. I acted like I was throwing a rock at him (or her) so she (or he) would run off while she (or he) had a chance. I would NEVER actually throw a rock at a cat of course. He (or She) took the bait and darted under the fence and away. I hope the crows didn't notice but you know how shifty they are. I can't believe I let my coffee get cold while I was defending a cat.
Yesterday morning I was sitting inside reading and enjoying my morning coffee when I was disrupted by a couple of crows. You know crows, black motorcycle jackets, slicked-back hair, attitude. They wander through occasionally to scare the birds for laughs but yesterday they stayed and made so much noise I decided to walk out and show them who's really boss around here. They flew to a low hanging limb and stared at me staring at them. In my mind I looked a lot like John Wayne standing there but in their minds I was just a fat guy in baggy jammies standing on the patio. I stared at them until I got bored and as I started to go back inside I saw what they were after. A tiny gray cat was hiding under one of the Texas Lilacs. He (or she) was trying to get away from those crows. I acted like I was throwing a rock at him (or her) so she (or he) would run off while she (or he) had a chance. I would NEVER actually throw a rock at a cat of course. He (or She) took the bait and darted under the fence and away. I hope the crows didn't notice but you know how shifty they are. I can't believe I let my coffee get cold while I was defending a cat.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
The Golf Ball Caper...
I don’t know why all the good memories happened in the summertime. When you’re a kid summertime is absolutely it. Nothing compares with summer, except for maybe Christmas….and then only if you get really neat stuff.
It was yet another golden summer day in Hurst. Aunt Cricket, Bruce, Glenn, and I were cruising around the area checking out fruit and vegetable stands for free samples. I mentioned I knew a place where it was easy to find golf balls. No one had mentioned golf balls but I felt uncomfortable with no conversation. Any topic in a moment of silence was my motto.
Bruce and Glenn perked right up at the mention of golf balls. Golf balls were so much more interesting than free samples of watermelon at the fruit and vegetable stands. You have to remember these were the “good old days”. The Super Ball was yet to be invented so to the three of us nothing bounced higher and faster than a good old golf ball. With a minimum of effort we convinced Cricket to turn that Cadillac around and head for the city park.
Hurst used to have a wonderful park. Before it was a park it was a wonderful pasture with a creek surrounded by woods. We were absolutely forbidden to enter this area because “it was dangerous”. It was our favorite place to play. After the city turned it into a park and built the ballpark we swore we would never go there again. Then they built the swimming pool and all was forgiven. But let's get back to the story.
We talked Aunt Cricket into driving us over to the area of the park where I had found golf balls earlier. She parked the car in the gravel lot and told us we had fifteen minutes to find any balls we could. We took off at a run and started looking as hard as we could. At first we found nothing. Then all of a sudden Bruce yelled, “I got one!” The party was on. Glenn found the next one and I immediately found three more. It seemed they were popping up out of nowhere. After a minute or two we had found close to a dozen balls. That’s when I saw one move. I grabbed it and was stuffing it into my pocket when my shallow little brain processed the information that the ball was moving when I first saw it. I looked up and saw a middle aged guy with a club waving at us. He obviously thought we were shagging the balls for him. We obviously had no idea what “shagging balls” meant. When we saw him we started running for Cricket’s Caddy as fast as we could. When we got close enough to the car Bruce yelled out, “start the car momma. Start it NOW!” For some reason, and this is why I loved her so much, Cricket started the car and leaned over and opened the doors so we could hop in. She peeled out of that lot so fast the middle-aged guy with the club was peppered with gravel as he raced after his balls.
We were probably two blocks away when Cricket finally asked why that ugly man was chasing us. We told her we had no idea as we counted our golf balls for the third time. One minute he was hitting golf balls and the next he was screaming and chasing us. She shook her head and admitted the world was going to hell in a hand basket.
I will love my Aunt Cricket till the day I die.
It was yet another golden summer day in Hurst. Aunt Cricket, Bruce, Glenn, and I were cruising around the area checking out fruit and vegetable stands for free samples. I mentioned I knew a place where it was easy to find golf balls. No one had mentioned golf balls but I felt uncomfortable with no conversation. Any topic in a moment of silence was my motto.
Bruce and Glenn perked right up at the mention of golf balls. Golf balls were so much more interesting than free samples of watermelon at the fruit and vegetable stands. You have to remember these were the “good old days”. The Super Ball was yet to be invented so to the three of us nothing bounced higher and faster than a good old golf ball. With a minimum of effort we convinced Cricket to turn that Cadillac around and head for the city park.
Hurst used to have a wonderful park. Before it was a park it was a wonderful pasture with a creek surrounded by woods. We were absolutely forbidden to enter this area because “it was dangerous”. It was our favorite place to play. After the city turned it into a park and built the ballpark we swore we would never go there again. Then they built the swimming pool and all was forgiven. But let's get back to the story.
We talked Aunt Cricket into driving us over to the area of the park where I had found golf balls earlier. She parked the car in the gravel lot and told us we had fifteen minutes to find any balls we could. We took off at a run and started looking as hard as we could. At first we found nothing. Then all of a sudden Bruce yelled, “I got one!” The party was on. Glenn found the next one and I immediately found three more. It seemed they were popping up out of nowhere. After a minute or two we had found close to a dozen balls. That’s when I saw one move. I grabbed it and was stuffing it into my pocket when my shallow little brain processed the information that the ball was moving when I first saw it. I looked up and saw a middle aged guy with a club waving at us. He obviously thought we were shagging the balls for him. We obviously had no idea what “shagging balls” meant. When we saw him we started running for Cricket’s Caddy as fast as we could. When we got close enough to the car Bruce yelled out, “start the car momma. Start it NOW!” For some reason, and this is why I loved her so much, Cricket started the car and leaned over and opened the doors so we could hop in. She peeled out of that lot so fast the middle-aged guy with the club was peppered with gravel as he raced after his balls.
We were probably two blocks away when Cricket finally asked why that ugly man was chasing us. We told her we had no idea as we counted our golf balls for the third time. One minute he was hitting golf balls and the next he was screaming and chasing us. She shook her head and admitted the world was going to hell in a hand basket.
I will love my Aunt Cricket till the day I die.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Family...
Most folks have family. I know I do. My family is better than your family. Oh yes, it is. I love my family more than you love your family because my family is more loveable than your's. Saturday afternoon we met at Jamie and Jennifer's to celebrate an early Mother's Day for Debbie. Jamie worked the grille making some wonderful burgers. Meanwhile, Jennifer worked even harder preparing the meal to go with the burgers. Jennifer is a good cook. I always make myself sick when I eat over there. She made a cream pie from scratch...she even made it without a recipe. It could have turned out horrible since she decided on the ingredients as she made it. It could have turned up horrible but it didn't. It turned out wonderful. I was doing okay until I ate Debbie's pie along with mine. That's when the nausea started. But it went away soon and I was wishing I had stolen Cayce's pie when I took Debbie's.
Jamie and Jennifer are wonderful parents....so far. The four grandchildren living under that roof may do them in before its time but for now they are wonderful parents. Grace is an adorable eight year old. Nathan is a quiet, reserved boy. Sam is hilarious. If we ever figure out what he's saying during his long monologs he'll probably be even funnier. Lily is an angel. I am not making this up just because they are my grandchildren. Everything I said is true. Whenever Mammy is in the house the reaction is similar to a shot of pure sugar into the veins of these precious little souls. Debbie and I think this is just fine. The louder the room, the better the entertainment. Cody and Cayce seemed a little shell-shocked when they left. I'm not sure we will be able to count on them for an additional four grandchildren. That's okay. Three will be fine as long as at least two of them are girls.
We took my Mom and Dad out to eat tonight. We had catfish at Catfish and Company. They specialize in catfish if you were wondering. It was good. I ate too much and had to turn down the lemon pound cake offered to me when we took them home. I did think far ahead enough to bring a large slice home with me.
My parents are in their mid-eighties. They celebrated their 63rd wedding anniversary last month. They raised all of us well enough that we've been successful, happy, and out of prison. They are usually happy and fun to be around but tonight they seemed a little down. My Dad isn't feeling well and had some trouble with his balance when we left the restuarant. I'm always a little clumsy so the two of us looked like a couple of drunks as we made our way to the car. After taking them home we sat and visited for a while. They perked up a little but not a lot. I worry about them. I tell them not to worry about things....enjoy each day and don't give a thought to anything worrisome. I tell them that and then I come home and worry about all those things plus some I make up along the way.
I love my family.
Jamie and Jennifer are wonderful parents....so far. The four grandchildren living under that roof may do them in before its time but for now they are wonderful parents. Grace is an adorable eight year old. Nathan is a quiet, reserved boy. Sam is hilarious. If we ever figure out what he's saying during his long monologs he'll probably be even funnier. Lily is an angel. I am not making this up just because they are my grandchildren. Everything I said is true. Whenever Mammy is in the house the reaction is similar to a shot of pure sugar into the veins of these precious little souls. Debbie and I think this is just fine. The louder the room, the better the entertainment. Cody and Cayce seemed a little shell-shocked when they left. I'm not sure we will be able to count on them for an additional four grandchildren. That's okay. Three will be fine as long as at least two of them are girls.
We took my Mom and Dad out to eat tonight. We had catfish at Catfish and Company. They specialize in catfish if you were wondering. It was good. I ate too much and had to turn down the lemon pound cake offered to me when we took them home. I did think far ahead enough to bring a large slice home with me.
My parents are in their mid-eighties. They celebrated their 63rd wedding anniversary last month. They raised all of us well enough that we've been successful, happy, and out of prison. They are usually happy and fun to be around but tonight they seemed a little down. My Dad isn't feeling well and had some trouble with his balance when we left the restuarant. I'm always a little clumsy so the two of us looked like a couple of drunks as we made our way to the car. After taking them home we sat and visited for a while. They perked up a little but not a lot. I worry about them. I tell them not to worry about things....enjoy each day and don't give a thought to anything worrisome. I tell them that and then I come home and worry about all those things plus some I make up along the way.
I love my family.
darn....
I KNOW how to spell my daughter-in-laws' names for crying out loud. I just got a message from Cody telling me how to spell Cayce. Good grief...do I look like an idiot? Oh sure...I've been waiting all this time for someone to comment and now EVERYBODY wants to comment.
I've spelled Cayce's name wrong every time I've typed it since starting this blog. I don't know why. I KNOW how to spell Cayce. Debbie said I can go back and fix all the misspellings. I think its easier to just admit I messed up and let the 'Casey' in the previous notes stay. I'm sorry Cayce. I'm old....
I'm sure glad I haven't made that mistake with Jeniffer. She woulda whupped me.
I've spelled Cayce's name wrong every time I've typed it since starting this blog. I don't know why. I KNOW how to spell Cayce. Debbie said I can go back and fix all the misspellings. I think its easier to just admit I messed up and let the 'Casey' in the previous notes stay. I'm sorry Cayce. I'm old....
I'm sure glad I haven't made that mistake with Jeniffer. She woulda whupped me.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Fun with a Crickett...
The summer I learned to mow marked the end of my freedom. I found myself working every spare moment to make a couple of extra dollars. I have no idea where all that money went but I sure remember all the hours behind that mower.
The summer before I learned to mow was my last toss at the simplicity of childhood. That was the summer my Aunt Cricket and Uncle Wayne moved to Hurst from Tyler. Their baby boy, Bruce, was Glenn’s age and we rode our bikes over to visit every time we could sneak off. It wasn’t so much the fact that Bruce was lot’s of fun to play with. He was in fact a bit boring. The real fun person was Aunt Cricket.
Cricket liked to get out and explore the countryside in her shiny black Cadillac. We felt it prudent to accompany her on her meanderings because they nearly always included a stop at the Dairy Queen for a nickel ice cream cone. One day she decided it would be a good idea for each of us boys to build a soapbox derby racecar. They lived on a steep hill which would be perfect for racing as long as there wasn’t a real car going through the intersection at the bottom of the hill at the same time the race was nearing completion.
We drove to the city dump that morning because Cricket figured we could find everything we needed to build those cars for free….as long as we didn’t mind digging through the city’s trash. Of course we didn’t mind…good grief. We found so many old wheels off of broken down toys we wondered who could these people be who threw away perfectly good stuff. We also found pieces of 2 x 4 boards, plywood, and enough old nails to straighten that we were in business in no time.
Later in the day, after minutes and minutes of meticulous production, the three cars were ready for the race. Unfortunately, it was about five in the afternoon so Cricket decided it would be best to let all those crazy working people get home without having to dodge us. The race was rescheduled for 9 o’clock the following morning.
It was a beautiful race day at the corner of Irwin and Cheryl Lane in Hurst that morning. The sun was shining bright, Cricket had fed us donuts and chocolate milk until we shook, and Momma, Cindy, Julie, and little Debbie were sitting on the curb in eager anticipation of the race.
The three of us towed our racers to the top of the hill. The air was filled with the electric thrill of competition. We lined up on Cheryl Lane. We glared at each other as we waited for Cricket to drop the checkered table napkin she held in her hand. The napkin dropped, we released our brakes (took our feet off the ground), and plummeted to the bottom of the hill with a speed that would have made smaller boys cry. We were moving so fast it scared us. It scared Cricket too because she was at the bottom of the hill and she was the first to see the flimsy rope we were using for steerage snap off of Glenn’s car. She ran for the house a bit faster than we were moving so she wasn’t a part of the pile up. Glenn plowed into the side of my car, which immediately lost the whole front 2 x 4…I mean axle. I hit Bruce and sent him into a spin. With the nose of my car grinding into the asphalt and Glenn’s broken machine coming apart next to me, we both became airborne. Glenn didn’t go far. He landed on the back of my car, which was slowly coming to a stop. I completely cleared the front of my car and finished the race on my chin. It doesn’t hurt now unless the weather changes real fast. Boring Bruce sailed across the finish line like a blur with three wheels still attached. It was amazing how close the insurance salesman’s car came to hitting him. That salesman had reflexes to write home about let me tell you! Bruce continued down Cheryl Lane and the salesman came to a clean stop in Cricket’s front yard. Both Bruce and the salesman had to go home and change their underwear but it was worth it to see the jubilation in Bruce’s freaky winner’s dance.
Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the golf ball caper that happened later in the summer. Cricket figured she better sell the Caddy after that little disaster.
The summer before I learned to mow was my last toss at the simplicity of childhood. That was the summer my Aunt Cricket and Uncle Wayne moved to Hurst from Tyler. Their baby boy, Bruce, was Glenn’s age and we rode our bikes over to visit every time we could sneak off. It wasn’t so much the fact that Bruce was lot’s of fun to play with. He was in fact a bit boring. The real fun person was Aunt Cricket.
Cricket liked to get out and explore the countryside in her shiny black Cadillac. We felt it prudent to accompany her on her meanderings because they nearly always included a stop at the Dairy Queen for a nickel ice cream cone. One day she decided it would be a good idea for each of us boys to build a soapbox derby racecar. They lived on a steep hill which would be perfect for racing as long as there wasn’t a real car going through the intersection at the bottom of the hill at the same time the race was nearing completion.
We drove to the city dump that morning because Cricket figured we could find everything we needed to build those cars for free….as long as we didn’t mind digging through the city’s trash. Of course we didn’t mind…good grief. We found so many old wheels off of broken down toys we wondered who could these people be who threw away perfectly good stuff. We also found pieces of 2 x 4 boards, plywood, and enough old nails to straighten that we were in business in no time.
Later in the day, after minutes and minutes of meticulous production, the three cars were ready for the race. Unfortunately, it was about five in the afternoon so Cricket decided it would be best to let all those crazy working people get home without having to dodge us. The race was rescheduled for 9 o’clock the following morning.
It was a beautiful race day at the corner of Irwin and Cheryl Lane in Hurst that morning. The sun was shining bright, Cricket had fed us donuts and chocolate milk until we shook, and Momma, Cindy, Julie, and little Debbie were sitting on the curb in eager anticipation of the race.
The three of us towed our racers to the top of the hill. The air was filled with the electric thrill of competition. We lined up on Cheryl Lane. We glared at each other as we waited for Cricket to drop the checkered table napkin she held in her hand. The napkin dropped, we released our brakes (took our feet off the ground), and plummeted to the bottom of the hill with a speed that would have made smaller boys cry. We were moving so fast it scared us. It scared Cricket too because she was at the bottom of the hill and she was the first to see the flimsy rope we were using for steerage snap off of Glenn’s car. She ran for the house a bit faster than we were moving so she wasn’t a part of the pile up. Glenn plowed into the side of my car, which immediately lost the whole front 2 x 4…I mean axle. I hit Bruce and sent him into a spin. With the nose of my car grinding into the asphalt and Glenn’s broken machine coming apart next to me, we both became airborne. Glenn didn’t go far. He landed on the back of my car, which was slowly coming to a stop. I completely cleared the front of my car and finished the race on my chin. It doesn’t hurt now unless the weather changes real fast. Boring Bruce sailed across the finish line like a blur with three wheels still attached. It was amazing how close the insurance salesman’s car came to hitting him. That salesman had reflexes to write home about let me tell you! Bruce continued down Cheryl Lane and the salesman came to a clean stop in Cricket’s front yard. Both Bruce and the salesman had to go home and change their underwear but it was worth it to see the jubilation in Bruce’s freaky winner’s dance.
Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the golf ball caper that happened later in the summer. Cricket figured she better sell the Caddy after that little disaster.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Golden moments...
I was wandering around the foyor at church last night trying to figure out which class I wanted to attend. I heard a loud "HEY PAPA" and turned just in time to catch Andy who was running toward me at full speed. Casey walked up behind him and gave me a warm hug. We talked for just a minute when Andy found a little caterpiller struggling on the floor. He showed it to Casey. She got down to Andy's level and picked the caterpiller up. While holding it in her hand she talked to Andy about the wonder of butterflies. Then they walked, hand in hand, outside to find a new home for the little caterpiller.
The caterpiller and I are both glad Casey was there. I would have squished it....
The caterpiller and I are both glad Casey was there. I would have squished it....
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Good days...good nights
I found out yesterday afternoon we had an overnight guest. Debbie called around 3:30 to tell me one of our grandsons, Andy, was spending the night. Andy took the phone from her to tell me to come home RIGHT NOW! I made it through the rest of the day but hurried home as soon as possible. I got home to pancakes made in letters. There were four cakes for A-N-D-Y; four for P-A-P-A; and twenty-three for D-E-A-R S-W-E-E-T B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L M-A-M-M-Y. That Mammy can really eat.
After dinner Andy and I took his metal detector to our front yard to look for treasure. We found seven cents...but one of the pennies was from 1942 so that was pretty exciting. After a movie and random snacks we got Andy to bed and we quickly followed.
This evening we finally got a chance to celebrate Jennifer's 40th birthday....did I say 40?! I'm sorry, I meant to say 37th...it's so close to 40 I get confused. We sat down at our table with the entire family seated around one table. Have I mentioned I'm the richest guy in the world. I felt so blessed I was afraid I would start to cry while saying the blessing. Luckily Cody suggested Sam, our youngest grandson, say the prayer. Sam says a good prayer...it's long....really long and it's kind of hard to understand everything he has to say but the family and the food were both very well blessed.
We all ate too much. Well, actually Cody didn't eat too much. Casey made sure he stuck to one helping and then let him have only one scoop of ice cream with his cake. Casey takes good care of her man. Jennifer takes good care of her man too. Debbie lets me eat anything I want whenever I want. Does this present a message of some kind.....nah....
Well, its been a long day and I only had time for two short naps. I guess I'll sign off and go to bed...by the way, the time is off on this blog. It's actually 9:23. That is 23 minutes past my bedtime.
Sleep well!
After dinner Andy and I took his metal detector to our front yard to look for treasure. We found seven cents...but one of the pennies was from 1942 so that was pretty exciting. After a movie and random snacks we got Andy to bed and we quickly followed.
This evening we finally got a chance to celebrate Jennifer's 40th birthday....did I say 40?! I'm sorry, I meant to say 37th...it's so close to 40 I get confused. We sat down at our table with the entire family seated around one table. Have I mentioned I'm the richest guy in the world. I felt so blessed I was afraid I would start to cry while saying the blessing. Luckily Cody suggested Sam, our youngest grandson, say the prayer. Sam says a good prayer...it's long....really long and it's kind of hard to understand everything he has to say but the family and the food were both very well blessed.
We all ate too much. Well, actually Cody didn't eat too much. Casey made sure he stuck to one helping and then let him have only one scoop of ice cream with his cake. Casey takes good care of her man. Jennifer takes good care of her man too. Debbie lets me eat anything I want whenever I want. Does this present a message of some kind.....nah....
Well, its been a long day and I only had time for two short naps. I guess I'll sign off and go to bed...by the way, the time is off on this blog. It's actually 9:23. That is 23 minutes past my bedtime.
Sleep well!
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